Things that make you go hummmm

I knew it was coming.  I've been afraid of it since the moment I found out I was pregnant.  "It" is the hair shedding that happens after you give birth.  The hair loss has been shocking, and despite my best efforts to prepare myself, I feel a small tug at my heart with each strand that I find.  Everyone says your hair gets lushous and thick during pregnancy and it is so true.  In fact, I do not think I lost a single hair for 10 months and the end result was a thick head of hair.  But, all good things come to an end and all the hair that never fell out is going to make a mass exodus, seemingly all at once.

My "what to expect" update prepared me for this last week.  When the email entitled "post partum hair loss" showed up in my inbox, I knew I had reached the end of what can only be termed "Van Halen hair, part deux" (Part one occurred when I was a sophomore in college!)  Practically the day after receiving the update, my hair started to shed.  I was ready, I knew it was coming.  However, it turns out, I was not ready for all the components of the hair loss.  Case in point- this statement that was in the "what to expect" email: 

During shedding season, beware of long strands wrapping around your baby's tiny fingers, toes, wrists, or PENIS. That can hurt (really!); so if your little one is fussing and you can't find a reason, make sure the culprit's not a "hair tourniquet."

Hair tourniquets that attack the penis, really??!  Of course I had mention this to Chris.

Me: "Babe, most of my hair is going to fall out here in the next few months.  Also, if the babies are crying and we can't figure out why, they may have a penis tourniquet made out of my hair.  I guess we are supposed to check to that."

Chris: "Ummm, ok.  Please try not to get any hair around their penises.  Also, feel free to buy a hat if you want."

Now every time the babies are crying for no apparent reason, Chris looks lovingly into their eyes and asks "Do you have one of moms hairs wrapped around your winki?  Does it hurt?  Should I check?"  

And he does.  

My hair has not been the cause of undo pain yet, but it is only a matter of time.  Thanks What to Expect for this helpful hint.  I am off to buy a hat.