Running on empty

I have always tried to be a regular exerciser.  Some periods in my life, this was easier due to great running partners (how can I live without you. . . ) and other times it has been really tough (e.g. at the very end of graduate school finishing up a ph.d.)  No time, however, can compare the challenge of the last two years.

I knew I was pregnant pretty early on, mostly because I felt terrible right away.  I kept walking and swimming for as long and I could manage (primarily thwarted by the 110 degree Arizona summer) but eventually I was put on bed rest to prevent labor, and exercise was a distant thought and a luxury that I was not allowed to do.  After the boys were born..... forgetaboutit.  I think it was two solid months until I actually left the house for something other than a doctors appointment.  It was three months before I started walking once or twice a week with friends.  At month 4, we drove across country (i.e. I sat in the car for 4 weeks) and then shortly after we we moved to California.  Consistent exercise was not in my daily schedule for a long time.  Lately though, it has been something I have been trying to add back into my life, both to make sure I am healthy and feel my best and also to show my boys how important it is to be active.

The great thing about running as a mom is that my entire attitude about exercise has changed.  In the past, there were times when I would consider runs of less that an hour and not worth it. It would be hard to get me to consider it a sufficient workout if I had not done both cardio, abs and stretched and if I had lifted the day before.  I have been fastidious about how many minutes, miles, laps, rpm I did and would keep track of these things for fun.  Now, however, my focus is completely different.  The new goal is just to get out of the stinking house.  I consider my run a complete sucess if I have left the house with two babies, a pair of shoes, and my house key.  Additionally, (likely becuase I am so out of shape), I stop and smell the roses way more than I used to.  There are a couple of scenic trails around here that I like to go to, and sometime (wait for it) I even bring my camera and run WITH the camera and the two babies.  When I see something interesting, I take a picture and I point it out to the boys.

Now, I sing to them, breathless and in short sentences but all in an effort to keep them happy and to keep us out there.  If we are having a bad day, I don't berate myself.  I just dust off my dirty exercising cloths, re-wear my sports bra, and figure we can try again tomorrow.

Perhaps in the not too distant future I will start running for time again, heck maybe I will just start running for time alone.  But for now, I am running to get back to feeling like my old self, to get the boys some fresh air, and to see what is going on outside our front door.